Flirtatious comment of the day: "Do you enjoy ballbusting, Mistress?"
(I almost replied, but I find actions often speak louder than words.)
In the future, I took your dick off, put it on me,
fucked you with it bareback,
came inside you, then put it back on you dirty.
Oh good, there's still time to masturbate a dozen times
before my goth slut shines my latex & we head to the party tonight.
I can't decide if I want to wear my dick out tonight
or wear out my dick tonight.
If you hear screaming after dark tonight, don't be alarmed.
If it gets too loud I'll stick my dick in his mouth.
I'm conscientious like that.
So, I decided to soft pack today, and I have been soooo distracted.
I don't know how you guys walk around with that thing all the time.
I still smell like latex from today's shoot with @natashagornik.
She's awesome.
I need a shower.
When the sky is so colorless, it makes me want to beat
all the colors of the rainbow onto slave's body.
(Actually I always want to do that.)
The New York sky is such a melodramatic bitch these days.
I have an ark, send me over some mixed-gender animal couples.
Wait, eew, nevermind.
If #irene gives us any shit @MstrssVeronica and I
will get all apocalyptic on her ass!
Now that I'm on higher ground drinking Guinnesses,
I'm ready to call #irene a big faker.
#looktheotherwaywhileiknocksomewood
Post-apocalypse update: @MstrssVeronica & I have weathered
slight breezes, navigated a few clumps of leaves
and are now having brunch.
I thought parking would be easier post-apocalypse.
I wish that nap had been more restful and less masturbatory.
I really suck at napping.
The twink is being turned out nicely.
Right about now he'll be experiencing his first
iatrogenic masturbatory fantasy.
"You've ruined me. Now I always want to be violated," he said.
"And you'll always masturbate wearing lip gloss & a butt plug," I said.
Okay, I feel better, I just masturbated in the back of the taxi.
I'm totally fucking serious. There's a first time for everything.
I was going to write a blog post but I thought
let me just masturbate first real quick.
So I did & am now incapable of writing a blog post.
"Tighter! A photo shoot is not about comfort, it is about drama!"
Is it weird that I want to fuck a tranny who looks exactly like me?
I know, I should just masturbate in the mirror, less drama. Or is it...
Anybody who's my bitch should definitely abstain
from masturbating between now & 10am Sunday.
Then you can get on your knees like in church.
PSA of the day: Masturbate in the face of insomnia.
For the record, masturbation = panacea,
not necessarily always in someone's face though.
I was gonna tweet something really clever
but I think I'll just skip it & go ahead & masturbate.
With the vibrating duck tonight I think.
My webslut is so smart! He just asked if the tremor
was a result of my afternoon masturbatory activities. Ha.
Ok, so I just masturbated exactly like a guy, in that
I was gribbing the vibrator in my hand like it was my dick. #TMIFYI
Ha, that was a totally Freudian porn-related typo. #TMIBTW
The lobster is now dead and red and I am soon to be well fed.
What about "More champagne" do you not understand, slave? *smack*
Due to the extra 24 minutes I waited for coffee
in this lovely yet coffee-forsaken town,
slave will descend into exactly 24 depths of hell.
Today is an excellent day for the tanning of hides.
I think I'll put on my camo bikini and go kick sand
in boys' faces at the beach.
They'll never see me coming.
I'm gonna be so happy to see you I'm gonna high five your face.
Today's lesson: Assfucking may not cure a hangover,
but it's sure a hell of a nice way to spend the morning.
I just turned on the charm full blast
and got an off-duty taxi driver to take me to Brooklyn.
I sometimes amaze even myself.
What I don't love about coming home from vacation:
the notice in my bag from TSA saying they touched all my cocks.
Fucking perverts.
I am so looking forward to seeing you next that when I do
I'm totally gonna knucklebump you right between the eyes.
"True intimacy is laying in bed with your lover &
being able to touch your mobile devices
in front of each other without shame."
Do you ever wake up too early & can't go back to sleep
so you fantasize about putting someone
over your knee and smacking their ass?
Me too.
If I break you, I promise to put you back together again,
in even better form than I found you.
Now get on your knees.
I want to make you bleed.
Consensually.
Academia makes me want to jerk off-what the fuck is up with that?
I have no idea why I'm fielding international late night
corset sizing triage with a sissy I've never met.
It just seems important.
"Get the smaller size. Breathing is overrated."
*Note to self: Before obliterating all gender stereotypes,
continue to take full advantage of the weaker gender.
Posts
0 comments:
Post a Comment