How to Properly Occupy Wall Street

This is a special message to my fellow Dominants, though the rest of you may read on as well, in case we decide you might be of some use to us during the occupation process.

Because I am a humanitarian at heart, I have decided to share with you—who are ostensibly among the more evolved humans, having made it to this particular URL and having read this far already—what is clearly the best way to occupy Wall Street in the current climate of consistent and constant economic fuckery. And in just four simple steps!

Step One:

Put on something tight and very shiny, and head down to the steps of the stock exchange around 4pm. The reason for the extra shine is simple: It will attract the eye of the easy prey emerging from the surrounding buildings because it will remind them of money, the kind of money that used to be made out of precious metals, instead of the ridiculous, mass-printed, filthy, worthless IOUs we now call "dollars." These creatures will wander the streets wearing colorful silk leashes towards places they hope will offer them happy hours. These self-sacrificed victims are already bitches, used to bending over for any man who offers them a piece of paper covered in long numbers and a scrawl. They will therefore barely notice when you grab the end of their leash and assume complete control of them.

Step Two:

The poor bastard is used to being set up for failure, so give him a job at which he can finally really succeed. His tongue has been well-exercised by wagging out sales pitches and licking the asses of the men signing his checks, so it will not be difficult to train him on the proper technique for spit-shining and tongue-polishing your boots. He will try to thank you for allowing him to realize the fulfillment of his true destiny at your feet—caution him not to talk with his mouth full as you shove your heel down his throat.

Step Three:

After your boots are sparkling clean, his cognitive resources are sure to be severely depleted, but you may still find a use for him formed in the position of your favorite piece of furniture. This may seem like relaxation, but keep in mind that the furnishing of Wall Street with such human furniture is crucial to your occupation. Are you supposed to sit on milk crates? Clearly not! And feel free to be creative; depending on their size and shape, they may hold innumerable other positions including chaise lounges, stools, and La-Z-Boys. Also, they work quite well as sandwich boards and picket signs; it's been proven that their skin holds marking pen ink quite well.

Step Four:

Finally, ride the bull bareback and without a safeword, because you deserve a little fun after all your hard work!

Photos taken in January 2010 by JC Stark.